Coming Out
by Dragonist
Summary: It's Christmas morning, and Sirius couldn't be happier. Until he opens up his present from Remus, that is. Now, all he can do is hope that Remus isn't being serious, because, seriously? If he is, being Sirius is seriously going to blow.


Christmas morning saw a lazy Sirius Black cracking an eye open to check the time. Most Christmases, he would have been in more of a rush, but this one was special. James and Peter had gone home for the holidays, leaving no one to rush him out of bed at four in the morning because there were "Presents, Sirius! Presents!"

All right, it usually was more like Sirius waking them up at four in the morning, screaming, "PRESENTZ! GIVETH TO ME ALL OF YOUR LOVELY PREZENTZ!", but James and Peter weren't here to protest, so he figured he could get away with it. After all, Remus was notorious for always taking Sirius's side, and what kind of Marauder would he be if he didn't take advantage of that fact?

After cracking his neck, Sirius turned to the foot of his bed. There were a bunch of presents lying there. Hopefully one of them was a new pillow, otherwise he'd have to hunt down the elves and complain. His neck had been killing him ever since he'd gotten that new pillow a few weeks ago. Why did he need a new pillow, you ask?

_Oh_, Sirius realized, looking over at his uncomfortably chunky pillow, and the few rocks that had torn their way out of it. Yeah. That was probably why his new pillow sucked. And why his laundry kept coming back burnt. And why his breakfast continued to taste like lemony soap.

_Note to self_, Sirius thought as he crawled over to inspect his presents more thoroughly, _next time, if doing unmentionable things with your pillow and pillow case, make sure to dispose of the evidence before begging the elves for a new pillow._

He wondered if his nice Christmas gift for the elves, a Zonko's specialty, would make things better or worse.

_Worse_, he decided, looking down at the burnt, soggy, and generally destroyed wrapping paper covering most of his presents with a forlorn sigh. At least they left the actual gifts intact.

Banishing the worst looking of the wrapping paper away, Sirius cheerfully set to work. Anything that came wrapped in shreds of something pink, purple, or too girly looking was set aside to be burnt and/or inspected for traces of love potion. Some of the more determined girls in his year could get pretty crazy around the holidays, and after that Butterbeer incident of fourth year - _which shall never be thought of again_, his mind screamed - Sirius was more than willing to be a little cautious.

"Alright!" Sirius cheered as he unearthed Remus' present, a scroll tied with a rather girly looking ribbon. But, it was Remus, so it probably figured. "Gimme the good stuff." Slowly, his eyebrows started to rise.

I hate you  
I absolutely, completely hate you when you do these things to me  
I hate it when you laugh  
With that sound brightening up my day  
I hate it when you smile  
And make all of my worries fly away  
I hate it when you touch me  
And make my body ache for more  
I hate it when you look over my shoulder at what I'm doing  
Showing interest that makes me dare to think  
I hate it when you say my name  
And make me think of other ways you could do it  
I hate it

And rise.

I hate it when you talk to me  
With your caring voice  
I hate it when you look at me  
And don't know what those looks do to me

And rise.

I love you  
I absolutely love you when you do these things to me  
I love you when you look away  
So I don't feel the comfortable weight on me  
I love you when you ignore me  
So I don't hear your delicious voice talking to me  
I love you when you're mad at me  
So I don't have to be distracted by your entrancing presence  
I love it when you kiss one girl one night  
Making me not want to do the things I want to do to you.  
I love it when you kiss a different girl the next morning  
Because then I know your feelings for her don't run deep

And then his mouth began to fall open.

I love you when you hate me  
So I don't have to believe that I love you  
In times when I'm alone  
I love you when you smile  
But I hate you all the same  
I love you when you laugh  
But I hate it all the same  
I love it when you say my name  
But I hate it all the same  
I love you  
But I hate you.

Wider.

I love you because of how you make me feel  
But I hate you because you do  
I hate you because I love you  
But I still love you all the same  
I want you here with me  
But I want you far away  
I love you because I hate you  
And I love you because you're you  
The only thing I'm ever sure of  
Be you laughing or yelling  
Is that I love you.

And wider.

Because you're what makes me be me  
You're my love  
And I hate you for it  
But I can never change it  
You're the only one for me  
And really  
I don't think I want it changed  
Because I like having you around  
Not because I hate you  
Not because I love you  
But because I like you  
For you just being you

And wider.

Eyes twitchy, Sirius crossed his fingers and closed his mouth with a snap.

"Shit." Sirius said, staring down at the piece of paper. "_Shit_."

"What," and then Sirius turned with a flurry of pajamas, face paling, as Remus walked through the door. The other teen gestured at the paper with a small, worried pout. "You don't like it?"

"Uh…" Sirius stalled, waiting for the other teen to scream, "Psyche!" and set his mattress on fire. When nothing happened, other than the other teen's pout turning into a worried sort of I-think-I-might-just-start-to-cry kind of face, he rushed on. "No! It was very, uh," Sirius waved his hand around in the air.

"What's that supposed to mean?" _Uh oh, _Sirius' eyes widened. _Please, oh hell, no. _Remus' eyes started to _water_. "It was, what… wishy-washy? Okay? Not too bad? What are you trying to say, Black!"

_Not the last name. Shit._ Sirius held up his hands in the universal sign of peace. Or the universal sign of, hah, take that you bitch, I now have a pair of hands in between you and my of yet unscarred face. You know. Whichever seemed more likely. "No, no! I really… _liked _it." Sirius spit out from gritted teeth. Immediately, Remus' scowl lightened.

"You're not just saying that?" Remus asked with a hopeful tint to his voice.

"Of course not," Sirius waved his hands around some more, not quite sure what to do with them. "I liked it. Of course I liked it. Why wouldn't I like it?"

Remus bit his lip. "Well, you were kind of hesitant about us coming out to James and Peter…"

Sirius blinked. "What the hell are you talking about? _You _were the one to freaked out to admit to James and Peter that you had it hard up for me," here Sirius waggled his eyebrows, "even though they already accepted the fact that you turn into a ravenous killing machine every full moon."

"Knock it out," Remus irritably threw Peter's pillow at Sirius, who yelped. "We're being serious here!"

"No," Sirius flung the pillow away from him, "I'm being Sirius here." When Remus refused to do anything but glare at his cheesy grin, Sirius sighed. "Oh, lighten up."

"Lighten up? Lighten up!" Remus crossed his arms, furious. "You refuse to take our relationship seriously - and don't you say it, Black! - and you expect me to just lighten up!"

"Uh, yeah." Sirius gave Remus a weird look. "Remus, we're sixteen. So far, our relationship has mostly consisted of us fooling around the Quidditch Pitch a few times. And that one time with my pillow, but now the house elves have it out to get me, so we're going to have to stick with broom closets from now on."

"Is that all our relationship means to you, Black?" _Oh, fuck_. Sirius stared, appalled, as Remus started to cry. What the hell had he done to deserve this on Christmas morning, of all days? "What am I, just someone to fool around with in a broom closet? Is that all I'm worth to you?"

"What. The. Fuck." Sirius glanced nervously over at the pile of gifts from his admirers. "You didn't eat or drink any of that shit from my fan girls again, did you? At least not without checking for some kind of potion, right?"

"What," Remus glared at him with watery eyes over a runny nose. "Now you think I'm on drugs?" Sirius' mouth fell open at this latest accusation. "Just because I thought I meant more to you than some quick fling in a broom closet, now I'm on drugs? It's that crazy to think that we had something special? What is wrong with you!"

"What's wrong with you! What, is it your time of the month or something!" Sirius' furious rant was interrupted by Remus' gasp. Faintly alarmed and almost positive that he didn't want to know, Sirius couldn't help it. "What now?" He groaned.

"You're breaking up with me." Sirius was struck momentarily speechless at this latest sign of insanity. Remus took no notice. "You're tired of me and my stupid werewolf-ness, and of my stupid hair, and my ugly chin, and, oh god!" Remus flung a hand to his mouth, eyes wide and accusing. "This is because I gained those extra three pounds, isn't it!"

"What?" Sirius' voice was faint.

"Just admit it!" Remus shrieked, flinging himself onto James bed and muffling his tears in his bedspread. "You don't love me anymore, and you're just using this letter as an excuse to break up with me!"

Sirius stared, open mouthed, at the still sobbing Remus for what seemed like an hour but was probably only half a minute. When it became apparent that Remus wasn't going to make any more insane proclamations, Sirius thought it was safe enough to get up and go shake some sense into him. So he did.

"Uh… Remus?" Well, if shaking some sense into him meant getting down on one knee and begging until Remus was normal enough to head down to the Hall for chocolate chip pancakes with him. The things Sirius would do for his teenage dream… "Listen, I'm, uh, sorry about what I said." Remus' sobs slowed, but he still refused to move the pillow away from his face. "I really liked the poem."

Two brown eyes peered out from a tangled mess of hair. "You're just saying that."

"No, I'm not." Sirius tried his best to sound convincing, because, yes, he was just saying that. That poem was the most awful thing he'd ever read. "I loved it."

"You mean it?" Remus hesitantly sat up.

"Yeah." Sirius forced himself to smile. "I really loved it."

Remus smirked. "Good." _Fuck._

"Yeah?" Sirius smiled worriedly.

"Yeah." Remus leaned in close to Sirius, his nose a scant inch away from the other's. Sirius held back a sigh. Maybe this wouldn't be too bad. "Because I sent James and Peter a copy too."

Sirius fell back, head banging against the wall. "What?" His voice went embarrassingly high as he shrieked. "I thought you didn't want to tell them!"

Remus stretched his arms above his head. "I didn't," he smirked as he stood up and walked towards the letter. "You did."

"Huh?" Sirius was pretty sure there was something he still wasn't getting.

"Idiot." Remus said fondly as he pulled out his wand. "Mischief managed." Then, with a quick spell, the letter folded itself up into a paper airplane, and Remus threw it at Sirius while heading towards the door. "Didn't you read the signature?"

Mouth dry, Sirius scanned through the poem again. By the time he had finished, Remus had already left. "You bastard!"

Flinging a pair of robes over his pajamas, Sirius raced after the other teen, leaving the letter a crumpled ball on his bed.

"I'm gonna get you, you fucking wanker!" As Sirius' last words echoed in the dorm, the letter slowly straightened itself out on the bed. The last two lines of writing were just barely visible.

_With all my love to you, my little werewolf,_

_Sirius Black._


End file.
